P-A-G-E-S

Saturday, 27 August 2011

A true masterpiece of teen horror...?!


I'm not really into writing reviews, but I figure that if a film really makes an impression (either good or bad), it's worth a few moments of reflecting over...
So here it goes!

Have just watched Jen's Body. WHY?! Well, I was sick, indoors and in need of entertainment. Unfortunately, I couldn't even go buy myself some popcorn and at one point I was aching for some, but it was still a good treat without it. The thing is that I'm really confused now: should I give it a fair 7 for the laughs I had watching it or a generous 3 for the actual... film.

And now, on with the spoilers...

Where do I even start...

Jen (the one whom everyone wants to be or be with) and her dorky, needy friend named... Needy, have been BFFs for their entire lifetimes. They have nothing in common, but, then again, in Devil's Kettle (yeah, that's where they live), they seem to make up 90% of the female population, so it's kind of predictable that they'd be friends. Needy is dating this nice young boy every mom wishes her daughter would bring home, Chip, and Jen, well she's not much into dating, she's more of an... action oriented person.

The story, as short as possible: concert - rock band – fire - Jen kidnapped – returns to Needy growling and barfing black liquid – starts eating people (mainly guys, and this goes on throughout the film, the rest is not very relevant) – attacks Chip(the above mentioned boyfriend of the dork – Needy goes crazy – girls fight in Jen's bedroom – Needy stabs Jen with a paper cutter right in her heart (now that takes precision!) – mommy enters (where was she in all the other scenes, social services should do something about her) – Needy goes to the looney bin – Needy discovers demon powers rubbed off on her – Needy flies out of the looney bin and butchers the rock band – the end.

But the film is really fun and enjoyable. I mean watching how Jen transitions from a growling and barfing prehistorical creature to a normal teen in just half a night (without any explanations) and then getting to see her excellent table manners ( yes, she does get naked to kill the guys, but still, she manages to splash blood all over the place except on her clothes) is a real treat. I mean, we can learn from that; I know I have problems even when I'm eating something medium rare. Oh an the tongue burning scene is so completely and utterly pointless and uncalled for!

I must say that one of my favorite scenes is when she starts sipping blood from that emo guy's stomach
as if it were some sort of wonder spring. Oh course, there is an entire prelude before she actually gets to the sipping part; first she lures the unsuspecting hormone charged teen, then she takes off half her clothes to make sure the guy really wants her (as if that's really necessary), then she pulls all sorts of tricks to scare the pants off him (like changing her eye color) and only then does she start to devour her already suspecting prey.

Then, I really need to mention I just love the town they're living in. Devil's Kettle – sounds lovable, doesn't it? This Devil's Kettle (I just love repeating it) is the perfect teen town. In Devil's Kettle, the town where they have this weird waterfall where you can throw things in and they never surface – or so the scientist have found in all their research, that included throwing plastic balls which looked like poor Christmas decorations in it, there are no parents in sight. Not when children are murdered in broad day light, not when someone/something is growling in their kitchen. No parents, I tell you. Oh, except for the end when, after what seems like half an hour of window breaking, furniture cracking, cat-fight, with all the screaming one can imagine when Jen's mom finally decides to check on her already stabbed demon daughter. Speaking of whom (or which, because she's not really human), why does she feel the need to lie? I mean, she tells Needy “I eat guys... mmm, they're so yummy” and then goes all little-goody-two-shoes?! And if “someone” wanted to portray duality, conflict between the two immaterial things living inside the same body, well that's just too much for this film, honestly. And impossible for that matter, I mean she died so the real soul was very much gone before the demon revitalized the butchered pieces of Jennifer.


One more incredibly interesting fact about Devil's Kettle (frankly I'm surprised nothing happened there until now) is how that little God forsaken town has the most complete book collection on occultism, conveniently divided into the following sections: “white magic”, “black magic” and “whatever the character may need”, so that Needy easily finds everything she needs on the demon possessing Jen and all the details about killing it (I wonder what section that book was in).

At the end we see how Needy flies out of the looney bin, finds the place where the never surfacing waterfall surfaces, grabs the knife which was used by the rockers to sacrifice Jen and off she goes to sacrifice the Low Shoulder band members (who should have been called Slow instead of Low). All this being said and done, we (or, at least I) end up wondering: how ever can someone choose Jennifer as being the virgin and not Needy?

But seriously now, beyond all that, the film does exactly what it's supposed to do: be an enjoyable, popcorn, teen horror flick.

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